Ever feel like you’re running a million miles an hour and really just need to slow down? This was us for the latter part of 2016. I expressed my exhaustion to Anil a few weeks ago. We went into full-blown have-to-do-everything-now at work and at home and ended up exhausted. “Are we doing too much? Are we just nuts for making sure the kids are having a good time?”. I was expecting a “yes, duh” type of response, but instead I got: “We are definitely running a bit too fast, but these are also the years for these types of activities, you know?”. THESE ARE THE YEARS.
That phrase really stuck with me because Anil is absolutely right. To me, these really ARE the years when we’re running a bit fast, but it’s because we’re building and nurturing kids and startups and a career and…basically kicking ass. To us, this is prime time to be doing it. Others are working on triathlons, or traveling the globe, or making a difference through politics or PTAs. The problem is that whenever you open up Instagram or Facebook, you see pictures of people doing these things, which makes you think: “Wow, they really have their shit together”. “They’re doing it ALL SO WELL.” But those things are really just the highlights you see on social media.
Don’t get me wrong, we’ve got the kids in a great routine. We’re entering 2017 with no one in speech therapy or OT (first time in four years). We’ve had zero ear infections since ear tubes. No more dairy and soy allergies for Asher. A four year old who is smart as a whip and a 1 year old who was born at 4 pounds and is now 98 percentile in weight. We worked really hard to get them both to where they are today. Work wise, Anil’s created 25 jobs over the last few years and I am constantly being challenged on the technical side of my job, which I absolutely love. We’re happy and healthy. But you’ve already seen those highlights on Instagram. Here are the lows:
Being so busy cost me in terms of not being able to run and exercise as much and not going on nearly enough date and girls nights. My social life suffered a bit (ok fine, a lot) and though I love my weight, my mom is more flexible and has better muscle tone than I do and she’s 60 (way to kick butt, mom). There’s so much more to being healthy than just weight. It’s really hard for type-A parents with very little kids and so much going on to come to terms that there’s always a bit of sacrificing going on. Also, you guys know that being a mommy martyr is an absolute no-no for me, so that made things even harder. I don’t want our kids to remember their mom constantly being exhausted because she tried to create the perfect life for her kids. I want them to remember me for working hard, but having fun and making a difference, while doing so.
Here’s the good news: sometimes making things a lot better only requires little changes: putting the phone down and listening to Dilan’s full conversation (even it’s about how robots can fold towels for a full 10 minutes). A 2 mile run like I had for the first time in weeks, which many may call JUST a 2 mile run, but at least it’s a form of exercise. A smile to a stranger. A load of groceries to a mom of 4 in need. A short nap during the weekend. A night of doing nothing but reading on the couch. Even if we can’t do these things ALL the time, every little bit makes a difference. Last year, my main goal was to simplify as much as possible. This year, I clearly need to continue to do this, but I’ll try to infuse some of these little activities that make life a little richer and slower. But not too slow. After all, these are the years to build it all.
CXCCVB2347999PPPPPPP’;qwertyuiop –> that’s Dilan’s typing. I’m writing this blog post while he’s “watching” Bob the Builder and Asher’s taking a nap, after it took Anil about an hour to get him to sleep. I’m telling you this because these are also the years to keep it real 😉
Happy new year, everyone!
PS – Lashes and hair for miles for this boy. Cheeks that are really as squeezable as they look. Someone pinch me.